Kenny Powers Charros Speech

In a highly motivational speech to the Charros baseball team Kenny Powers takes all the credit for the teams’ success while begging for another chance to play, while butchering every single fairytale reference used in the speech.

Kenny Powers:

I brought you guys up from less than f*ckin’ nothing, and took you up to a championship level, only to abandon you there, leave you high and dry, naked and nude. Prey, easy targets for the competitions, to rape and buttf*ck you. I’m sorry for that.

Roger Hernandez:

Actually, you know what Kenny? We’ve been playing pretty good. We’ve won the last three games, right?

Kenny Powers pixie dust

Kenny Powers:

Well, don’t get too cocky, Roger. That’s probably because there’s still a little residual Kenny Powers pixie dust floatin’ around all your little heads.

Let’s face it guys, after midnight, this whole f*cking place turns into a pumpkin, and you guys all turn back into mice. This is a classic Cinderella tale here. Ya know, Peter Pan will no longer be a man, he’ll turn into a real boy. George Washington will never be able to cut down the beanstalk. You guys will eventually just go back to being the sh*ttiest Mexican baseball team in Mexico…

These are the hard realities, guys. Life is not a fairy tale, although sometimes it feels like our world is full of fairies. You know who I’m talking about. (high fives player) I still accept you, brother.

Purity — its what we all desire, and it is what I’ve come here to share with you. Hence the all whites.

We can do some f*cking great things tonight, you guys. Follow me. Walk with me out on to that field. And when you do, you will f*cking put your ass out, and you raise your f*cking head up.

Know that you’ll never, ever… EVER reach the heights that you’re gonna reach tonight. But you can leave here knowing that you helped Kenny Powers’ dreams come true.

For a bunch of Mexican baseball players, that ain’t too bad…

Kenny and Charros chanting "Mexico"

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