Kenny Powers Narration:
This is a story of a man who won.
By choosing love over fame, fortune, and countless adventures, I’d proven that my heart was true.
I’d proven that I was a man who could face any peril. And f*ckin’ crush it in the name of love.
When I rolled back the stone and rose like the mighty phoenix, there were some who couldn’t process the uncut majestry of the event.
And there were some that decided to trump up bullsh*t fraudulent life insurance claim charges against me. But I couldn’t be phased.
And ultimately I was rewarded with the hand of my true love in matrimony.
I was rewarded with the birth of a gorgeous daughter. And life began to take on a beautiful rhythm.
In the end, Kenny Powers didn’t get what he wanted, but he got what he needed.
He didn’t win baseball, but he did win life. The end.
Credits roll. Besides them, on-set bloopers play in a small box. Hilarious.