…directed Blair Witch Project

Stevie Janowski: He’s in Hollywood, baby. I did a little searching online, and it turns out homeboy directed the Blair Witch Project.

Kenny Powers: That’s not him.

Stevie Janowski: Are you sure?

Kenny Powers: Yeah, Stevie. I’m pretty sure the guy I’m looking for didn’t direct the f*ckin’ Blair Witch Project.

…Hombre Negro, not White Flame

Stevie Janowski: Come see Kenny f*cking Powers tonight at Charros Stadium. He’s the Hombre Negro, not the White Flame. He’s not scary like the negros in America, unless you’re the competition. Then he’ll strike you out, and sh*t all over your face. Come worship the big d*ck American at Charros Stadium, and hopefully he’ll impregnate all the women here, so we’ll have a new generation of Kenny Powers’es.

Buy a tee shirt similar to this famous Kenny Powers quote:

Kenny Powers Skull Beltbuckle

…cover up that marblesack

Kenny Powers: Gross! You’re crop dusting my whole entire bedroom with your pubes right now. Don’t be sorry, dude. Just cover up that marblesack.

Stevie Janowski: I think you mean marbles and bananas, Kenny?

…the White Flame

Stevie Janowski: Villagers and townspeople, come see Kenny Powers destroy the competition in Mexico. He’s a national gift from the good people of America to you. Cheer for him, bow to him, worship him. He’s the white flame, and he’s burning this country to the f*cking ground. The white flame, Mr. Kenny f*cking Powers.

Buy a tee shirt featuring this famous Kenny Powers quote:

Kenny F*!?Ing Powers Shirt

…pair of comfy black boots

Stevie Janowski: I just wanted to walk a mile in his shoes, and today’s shoes just happened to be a big old pair of comfy black boots.

…credit card fraud

Stevie Janowski: When the charges first started showing up on my credit card, I though this was f*cking fraud, but then I looked a little bit closer at what was being purchased:

Beer.

Jager.

Lube.

Magnum condoms.

Whippets.

Business cards.

And that’s when I realized you were leaving me a trail of f*cking breadcrumbs.

…see straight through

Stevie Janowski: This is awesome, you can totally see straight through the butthole right into the pussy, man. That is awesome.

Kenny Powers: Yeah, man. I don’t think those two things are connected.

…Stevie Janowski the pedophile

Stevie Janowski: But something must have happened, because he said to me I can’t come over and play with the boys when he’s not there anymore.

…Hispanic adventure

Stevie Janowski: Please let me stay here and join you on this Hispanic adventure.

…welcome to the resistance

Stevie Janowski: I am so f*cking ready to get hard core with f*cking errands, or slapping whoever steps up right in the f*cking face.

Kenny Powers: Welcome to the resistance.