…pair of comfy black boots
Stevie Janowski: I just wanted to walk a mile in his shoes, and today’s shoes just happened to be a big old pair of comfy black boots.
Chapter 8
…women have pancake t*tties
Kenny Powers: Over the course of my career, I’ve played on many different teams – some I liked, and some I really f*cking hated. I am not mentioning any names, but let’s just say that Seattle can tongue kiss my sh*thole. The best way to get a new team on your side is to trash the last team you played for. Talk sh*t about how their fans suck, and their women have pancake t*tties.
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…just like prison
Kenny Powers: And if that doesn’t work, then just like prison, you pick the biggest, baddest dude on the team, and you kick him in his f*cking teeth.
…entire force of god
Kenny Powers: Hey buddy don’t beat yourself up there. You pretty much had the whole entire force of god coming at’cha.
…little girl’s tuna
Kenny Powers: I got this comeback locked down tight, like a little girl’s tuna. This is totally locked down tight, like a girl’s private parts. Who’s small. Lockeroom talk, baby.
…ten bucks and a burrito
Kenny Powers: How much exactly, does it cost to buy a Mexican baseball team? Ten bucks and a burrito?
Buy a tee shirt similar to this famous Kenny Powers quote:
…hepititis on the toilet seat
Kenny Powers: My dad ran out on me when I was just a kid. All he left was a batch of hepatitis on the toilet seat.
…my face looks all computery
Kenny Powers: It looks like sh*t. What the hell is he doing, printing that from a JPEG? Motherf*cker needs to be using TIFF files, dude. My face looks all computery and damn pixelated.
Buy a tee shirt similar to this famous Kenny Powers quote:
…biggest goddamn comeback
Kenny Powers: Now this Friday night, I guarantee you, it is gonna be the biggest goddamn comeback celebration any y’all have ever seen. There’s gonna be people cheering, and screaming, and spotlights, and fireworks. I wouldn’t even doubt if there’s a couple chicks showing their f*cking p*ssies off.
…waving their panochas
Kenny Powers: I wouldn’t doubt if some of the muchachas show their panochas off. They might show their panochas off. They might be waving their panochas all over the place.
