Chapter 8

…pair of comfy black boots

Stevie Janowski: I just wanted to walk a mile in his shoes, and today’s shoes just happened to be a big old pair of comfy black boots.


Filed under: Chapter 8, Stevie Janowski Quotes Season 2

…women have pancake t*tties

Kenny Powers: Over the course of my career, I’ve played on many different teams – some I liked, and some I really f*cking hated. I am not mentioning any names, but let’s just say that Seattle can tongue kiss my sh*thole. The best way to get a new team on your side is to trash the last team you played for. Talk sh*t about how their fans suck, and their women have pancake t*tties.

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Filed under: Chapter 8

…just like prison

Kenny Powers: And if that doesn’t work, then just like prison, you pick the biggest, baddest dude on the team, and you kick him in his f*cking teeth.


Filed under: Chapter 8

…entire force of god

Kenny Powers: Hey buddy don’t beat yourself up there. You pretty much had the whole entire force of god coming at’cha.


Filed under: Chapter 8

…little girl’s tuna

Kenny Powers: I got this comeback locked down tight, like a little girl’s tuna. This is totally locked down tight, like a girl’s private parts. Who’s small. Lockeroom talk, baby.


Filed under: Chapter 8

…ten bucks and a burrito

Kenny Powers: How much exactly, does it cost to buy a Mexican baseball team? Ten bucks and a burrito?

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Filed under: Chapter 8

…hepititis on the toilet seat

Kenny Powers: My dad ran out on me when I was just a kid. All he left was a batch of hepatitis on the toilet seat.


Filed under: Chapter 8

…my face looks all computery

Kenny Powers: It looks like sh*t. What the hell is he doing, printing that from a JPEG? Motherf*cker needs to be using TIFF files, dude. My face looks all computery and damn pixelated.

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Filed under: Chapter 8

…biggest goddamn comeback

Kenny Powers: Now this Friday night, I guarantee you, it is gonna be the biggest goddamn comeback celebration any y’all have ever seen. There’s gonna be people cheering, and screaming, and spotlights, and fireworks. I wouldn’t even doubt if there’s a couple chicks showing their f*cking p*ssies off.


Filed under: Chapter 8

…waving their panochas

Kenny Powers: I wouldn’t doubt if some of the muchachas show their panochas off. They might show their panochas off. They might be waving their panochas all over the place.


Filed under: Chapter 8