Chapter 6

…finally paying off

Kenny Powers: F*ck me. This is seriously like the best wave of good sh*t that has ever happened in my whole entire life. I knock out Mackworthy’s eye, then I get to see April’s big ass tits and have sex to her.

It’s like all the horrible, disgusting sh*t I had to put up with here is finally paying off.

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…don’t use steroids

Kenny Powers: I don’t use steroids.

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…olive skin

Kenny Powers: F*ck all that fine Cuban pussy. Your olive skin bests that any day of the week.

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…baby’s behavior

April Buchanan: Cutler has been gone for 3 days.

Kenny Powers: Shhhhhh. Don’t ruin this good time with that baby’s behavior.

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…dolla, dolla bills, y’all

Kenny Powers: So as I was saying, the amount of money I am gonna be making would hurt your parents feelings. You remember the class where I taught you all how to make it rain? That’s what I’m gonna be doing every single night – dolla, dolla bills, y’all…

Buy a tee shirt featuring this famous Kenny Powers quote:

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…have your name prepared

Kenny Powers: I’m going to be signing a personalized headshot for each and every one of you. The only thing I would ask, is that you have your name prepared. Because I don’t wanna have to ask the same question 30 f*cking times.

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…there are two kinds of lesbians

Kenny Powers: And please, please, please don’t let the fact that Ms. Carol is a lesbian put you off to her. You know how you all think there are two kinds of lesbians? There’s the kind on Cinemax that get it on and are hot, and there’s the mean kind? Well, Ms. Carol is neither of those.

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…small town

Stevie Janowski: I mean, f*ck all this small town sh*t. You think I’m gonna leave you just when you need my assistance the most? Kenny, no f*cking way. Where you go, I follow. Right, Kenny? Right, Kenny?

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…Tampa titty bars

Stevie Janowski: Do you know what I read online? That Tampa has the best titty bars in the nation. And I’m gonna set up pussy appointments for you all the f*cking time.

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…going to Tampa

Stevie Janowski: Tampa. Yeaaaaah. Goodbye f*cking sh*t school. See you f*cking morons later, because I’m going to Tampa to suck some titties.

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