Chapter 26

…Mother Nature’s piss

Kenny Powers: Water. Mother Nature’s piss, and it’s what brings us here today, together.

The unveiling of my luxurious brand new swimming pool.

That’s right. I did this.

Filed under: Chapter 26

…bigger balls than your husband

Kenny Powers: My own brother, so full of envy over my success. That son of a bitch didn’t even show up here today. But his wife showed up.

Cassie, big ups to you for being supportive. You’ve got much bigger balls than your husband does. Much better man than him.

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…darkest, dirtiest hole

Kenny Powers: Mere months ago, I was in the darkest, dirtiest, sh*ttiest hole of my life.

Standing in a crowded room while my wife was being honored. And I was miserable.

Filed under: Chapter 26

…salt water pool

Kenny Powers: And now look what’s happened.


Somebody got a salt water motherf*ckin’ pool. That’s right.

So let the deep, sparkly waters serve as a symbol to each of you.

That if you work hard enough. If you dream big enough, anything is possible.

Filed under: Chapter 26

…$5000.00 dollar suit

Kenny Powers: $5000.00 dollar suit y’all!

$5000.00 dollar suit, and I don’t even care!


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…big ’ol titties

Kenny Powers: My pool party was the shiiiiit.

Now bring them big ’ol titties over here. Come on.

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…buy it

Kenny Powers: I think maybe you need to stop paying attention to that sh*t, and come over here

(points down)

and suck on that d*ck.

April Powers: Not happenin.’

Kenny Powers: I’m about to buy that p*ssy then.

April Powers: Don’t buy it.

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…Rick Ross

Kenny Powers: I’m gonna motherf*ckin’ make it rain on your head.

Come on.

Rick Ross, Rick Ross, Rick Ross.

Shake it girl. Shake it. Shake it.

Filed under: Chapter 26

…class warfare

Kenny Powers: Why are you tryin’ to cause class warfare on my ass here?

Insult a man cause I’m tryin’ to share my wealth.

Filed under: Chapter 26

…ding-a-ling therapy

Kenny Powers: Therapists, all they do is they try to f*ckin’ smooth everybody out, keep everybody even, walk you in a straight line I got no interest in that.

The only kind of therapy you need, is that ding-a-ling therapy.

Filed under: Chapter 26