Chapter 25


Kenny Powers: In most of nature, the alpha is the strongest of the pack. A creature of immense strength, large in size, a leader from birth.

Hippos, bumble bees, Wayans brothers, most of the time they just look for the biggest amongst them.

But not all alphas are born, children. Some animals become great. Use their mind to form respect, and build alliances.

Your father has recently used this technique to stunning effect.

It is now your turn, my son. Feed his desires. Give Dakota this chicken chow mein.

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Kenny Powers: There you go. Don’t be scared, Toby. No fear.

You are his master.

(drops chicken and runs away)

Toby, goddammit! He ain’t gonna be able to reach that.

That’s not even feedin’ ’em. You’re cock teasin’ ’em.

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…stage charisma

Guy Young: KP has found his niche. He is hysterical out there.

They’re lovin’ you my man.

Kenny Powers: Oh yeah, dog I’m lovin’ my stage charisma.

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…very best friend

Kenny Powers: I don’t wanna sound weird, Guy.

But, I mean you’re just fastly becoming my very best friend, dude.

I don’t just throw that around.

You know, I had a very best friend and he passed away suddenly, uhh overdose of cocaine. He was all alone by himself in his apartment.

After my experiences with Shane Dog, I umm… I never thought I’d have a very best friend like him again.

Guy Young: Best friends are very cool to be.

Kenny Powers: F*ckin’ very best friends are f*ckin’ dope to be.

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…Palm Pilot

Guy Young: What are you doing this weekend?

Kenny Powers: Me? I need to check my Palm Pilot but I think I’m just chillin.’

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…asian in origin

Guy Young: I’m hosting a charity event. It’s the Dragon Boat Classic.

Kenny Powers: Ooooh. Dragon boat? That sounds like that may be asian in origin, am I correct?

Guy Young: Ah-so it is.

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…oriental activities

Guy Young: You want to be on my row team?

Kenny Powers: Because of my martial arts training, my muscles are tuned to excel at oriental activities.

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…charitible battle

Kenny Powers: How much does it pay?

Guy Young: (laughing) We don’t get paid.

It’s charity work, Kenny.

All you gotta do is pick the charity of your choice, and we’re good to go.

Kenny Powers: Look, I’m not gonna get crazy, alright. I’m gonna take this friendship slow.

But, you’ve really turned my life around.

The least I can do is join you in this charitable battle.

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…play time

Kenny Powers: Stevie! This isn’t play time. I’d love to discuss something with you, ASAP.

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…I cannot control them

Stevie Janowski: SHUT UP!!! (yelling at kids)

I’m sorry about my kids. I just realized that I cannot control them.

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