Chapter 15

…face your problems

Kenny Powers: April! Come out and face your problems like a man.


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…hell to pay

Kenny Powers: If she is not back by the time SWAT is over with, then she is gonna have hell to pay.

Do you hear me? Yeah, I know, this makes absolutely no sense at all.


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…voicemails

Kenny Powers: Yes, April, it is I, Kenny. You just had sex with me last night and then left this morning.

Ok, April. This isn’t really funny. Not sure where you are, but I’m starting to guess that I’ve been abandoned.

Yes, I’d like a large half Hawaiian, half pesto pizza. I have a screaming baby here, and he’s super hungry.

Guess what, April, it’s me. Uh, if you could call me back on my wireless mobile cell phone device I would greatly appreciate it.

You know, what? You know, what? Forget that. I’m coming to find you. f*ck you.


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…diarrhea

Kenny Powers: What is that smell? Oh, Jesus Christ. What did you eat, diarrhea?


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…world famous P*ssy Rocket

Shane: That cryin’ has already got me agitated about this whole situation.

Kenny Powers: Hey, yeah. How do you think I feel? C’mon?

Shane: I am lending you, for 24 hours only, the one and only world famous Pussy Rocket.


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…where he came from

Kenny Powers: I’m gonna take this kid, and put him where he came from. Right up April’s asshole!


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…without a goddamn scratch

Kenny Powers: I will have this car back, tonight, without a goddamn scratch on it, or my name isn’t Kenny f*cking Powers.


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…rejecting the Pepsi

Kenny Powers: He just puked all over your upholstery.

Shane: What?

Kenny Powers: I think his body’s rejecting the Pepsi.

Shane: Oh sh*t. Ok, I’ll be right back. I’m gonna go get some spray. Jesus Chris, come on.

Kenny Powers: Quick! Get some towels! I think he sh*t his pants too.


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…eat the puke

Kenny Powers: Don’t eat the puke. Just keep it on the shirt.


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…moving very fast

Kenny Powers: Dog, you gotta stay with me! I’m moving very fast today. Come on.


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