Chapter 13

…these pigs

Stevie Janowski: If one of these pigs takes my f*cking wife, I will kill them.


Filed under: Chapter 13, Stevie Janowski Quotes Season 2

…catch Bin Laden

Kenny Powers: Let me know when you catch Bin Laden — I’ve got some champagne on ice.


Filed under: Chapter 13

…breaking the laws in America

Stevie Janowski: We’re safe now Maria. Kenny’s celebrity saved us.

Kenny Powers: Feels good to be breaking the laws in America again.

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Filed under: Chapter 13, Stevie Janowski Quotes Season 2

…Lean Cuisine

Stevie Janowski: Guess you’re gonna go f*ck April now, huh? Probably.

Kenny Powers: Probably? Definitely. Maybe we’ll start off slow with a welcome home blowjob or something, but we’ll see how it goes. Light some candles, heat up a f*ckin’ Lean Cuisine, and go to town.

Stevie Janowski: Oooohhh, get sexy, huh?


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…the greatest gringo

Kenny Powers: Down there I fought and f*cked my way to becoming the greatest gringo that country has ever seen.


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…defeated the face of Mexican baseball

Kenny Powers: Do I have all the attentions of everyone? Attentions please!

For those of y’all who do not know who I am, my name is Kenny Powers. And as f*cked up and weird as it may seem, I used to be a teacher here. But now I return to you. A victor, a champion, a man who has defeated the face of Mexican baseball.

Not to get back my old job. F*ck that noise.

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Filed under: Chapter 13

…big-chested art teacher

Kenny Powers: But to capture the heart of one of your teachers, and take her away from you forever. So at this time I would like the beautiful, the forgiving, the talented, big-chested art teacher, to please step forward.


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…never turn down free drugs

Kenny Powers: Kenny Powers: Stay in school. Fight the power. And don’t do drugs.. Unless of course you’re doing them with me… Never turn down free drugs.


Filed under: Chapter 13

…you’re pregnant

Kenny Powers: April, your champion has returned to reclaim his love. I stand before you as a man pure of heart — ooohhhh, f*ck! You’re pregnant!


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…make those commissions

Kenny Powers: Well, I wouldn’t want to ruin a sale, huh? Guess you guys got to make those commissions to be able to buy all the goddamn, the FUBU, and the Oshkosh B’gosh, and the sh*t the baby’s gonna be wearing.

Hey, potential home buyers. Hope ya’ll know there were alotta rapes that happened in this house.

April Buchanan: Get out!!!

Kenny Powers: I hope you disclosed that, April!


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