Eastbound & Down Intro Narration

…I changed the face of professional baseball

Kenny Powers: When my ass was 19 years old I changed the face of professional baseball.


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…you’re f*cking out!

Kenny Powers: You’re f*cking out!!!

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…keys to the kingdom

Kenny Powers: I was handed the keys to the kingdom, multi million dollar deals, endorsements.  Everyone wanted a piece of my sh*t.


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…man with a mind for victory

Kenny Powers: Just a man with a mind for victory, and an arm like a f*cking cannon. But sometimes when you bring the thunder, you get lost in the storm.


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…Atlanta

Kenny Powers: I’m sick and tired of carrying all the weight. The coaches and owners not giving me the sh*t I need to win… Atlanta, you’re f*cking out. Kenny Powers is now a free agent. Buy a bar and get sh*t faced. Get me paid, bitch… Superstar!

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…New York

Kenny Powers: You mean Jew York? Its f*cking great…


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…San Francisco

Kenny Powers: I’ve got to tell you I thought the blacks in Baltimore were bad, but it turns out they’re nothing compared to these fags you got in San Francisco.


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…Boston

Kenny Powers: I said I’m not on steroids!


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…death is for pussies

Kenny Powers: With a true champion face to face with his darkest hour, will do whatever it takes to rise above. A man fights, and fights, and then fights some more. Because surrender is death, and death is for pussies.

And my ass ain’t no pussy. My ass is a f*cking champion.

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…nail in the coffin of a career

Baseball Announcer: A career that once showed so much promise. You can feel the sun going down on it right here.

There’s a long fly ball and its way back there. The nail in the coffin of a career. And Powers kicks his glove…


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